Why Romantic Films Set Unrealistic Expectations About Love

Romantic movies often show love in ways that are not realistic. From big dramatic gestures that magically fix everything to the idea that love alone can solve all problems, these stories simplify what relationships are really like. In many films, characters fall in love at first sight, fix huge problems without real conversations, and find “The One” as if it were fate—all in just two hours.

These stories can give people, especially younger viewers, false ideas about what love should be. They may expect love to be easy, perfect, or always exciting. But real relationships need communication, effort, and understanding. Below are some common movie tropes that still lead to unhealthy beliefs about love, even in 2025.

Love at first sight rarely exists, if ever

Movies often play into our secret wish that love at first sight could be real. Many people like the idea of seeing a stranger, feeling a strong spark, and just knowing they’re “The One.” But in real life, this rarely happens. What we call love at first sight is usually just instant attraction or chemistry. It’s mostly about how someone looks or the feeling they give off—not about real love.

Attraction is important, but true love is about much more than that. Another common movie idea is “happily ever after.” It suggests that once people fall in love, everything is perfect forever. This skips over the truth—that strong relationships take work, communication, and time. When people expect love to be easy, they may feel disappointed when problems come up in real life.

Not All Quirky Romance is Healthy

Some movies and shows make characters who are manipulative or emotionally distant seem exciting or deep. But in real life, these traits can cause real problems in relationships. Research shows that personality traits affect how people behave with their partners, including how they try to control or influence them.

For example, people who score high in neuroticism often use the silent treatment or pressure to get what they want in a relationship. People who are lazy in social situations may use self-pity or make themselves seem helpless to gain sympathy. Those who are more calculating may mix charm with silent treatment and guilt to control their partner.

On the other hand, extraverts try to find common ground and build quick connections when talking to others. But dating as an introvert can be different. Introverts may act more like interviewers, asking questions instead of talking about themselves. This may be because they are more private and want to avoid sharing too much too soon.

In short, personality traits not only shape who we are—they also influence how we treat others in relationships. Knowing your own traits and how others act can help you build better, healthier connections.

Talking Matters More Than Big Gestures

Many movies and shows make it seem like chasing someone through a city or making a big romantic gesture can fix serious problems in a relationship. But in real life, strong relationships are built on communication and trust, not dramatic acts.

Communication is the most important part of a relationship for most people. Millennials and Gen Z both say talking openly is the key to a good relationship. Gen X focuses more on respect, and Boomers value honesty the most.

In the US, couples spend about 17 hours of quality time together each week. Almost half (49%) have deep, meaningful conversations regularly. About 51% enjoy hobbies together, which helps them feel happier and more connected.

Even happy couples do not always agree. Of those who called their relationship “truly happy,” 87% said they still have disagreements at least once a month. This shows that small conflicts are normal, even in strong and healthy relationships.

Opposites do not attract

Some people believe that dating someone very different from you is exciting or romantic. But a big study looking at over 130 traits and millions of couples over the past 100 years shows that this idea is mostly wrong. Most couples were similar in 82–89% of the traits studied. They were truly opposite in only about 3% of traits, and that only happened in one part of the study. So, in real life, people usually choose partners who are more like them, not totally different.

Jealousy does not mean they love you

Treating jealousy as a sign of love can make controlling or possessive behavior seem normal. While having shared interests in a relationship is usually a good thing, research shows that too much similarity can sometimes lead to jealousy. When couples become too dependent on shared interests, it can create unhealthy attachment.

The study also found that the more focus there is on true companionship, the less violence is present in a relationship. Cultural norms also play a role. Men tend to value shared activities and companionship, while women focus more on emotional closeness and the connection between bonding and having things in common.